Sober Sex

Sex therapy helps people in addiction recovery navigate sex and relationships by addressing the specific challenges of intimacy without substances. It provides a structured way to heal the harm done to a person's sexuality during active addiction and build a foundation for healthy, sober sexual expression.

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Substance use often serves as a crutch for intimacy, reducing anxiety, lowering inhibitions, or enhancing physical sensations. Without these substances, sex can feel awkward, uncomfortable, or even underwhelming. I can help with this by:

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• Rebuilding Body Awareness.

I'll guide you to reconnect with your body in a sober state. We can use mindfulness exercises and other techniques to help you pay attention to your physical sensations and emotional responses without the numbing or altering effects of drugs or alcohol. This process helps you discover what you truly enjoy and what feels good to you naturally.

 

• Managing Performance Anxiety

The pressure to "perform" sexually in a sober state can be intense. I'll work with you to manage this anxiety, reframe your expectations, and focus on pleasure and connection rather than on performance outcomes.

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• Developing Communication Skills

I'll provide a safe space for you to learn and practice communicating your desires, boundaries, and discomforts to a partner. This is a crucial skill for building healthy sexual intimacy, as it replaces the need for substances to "lower the bar" for difficult conversations.

 

Healing Damaged Sexuality and Relationships

Active addiction can cause significant damage to a person's sexual health and relational patterns. I'll focus on repairing this damage by:

• Processing Past Trauma:

If you've experienced sexual trauma, I can help you process these experiences and understand how they may be affecting your current sexuality and relationships. This is a vital step toward reclaiming a sense of safety and control.

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• Redefining Healthy Sexuality

During active addiction, your sexual behavior may have been compulsive, risky, or disconnected from genuine intimacy. I'll help you redefine what a healthy and fulfilling sexuality looks like for you. This involves exploring your values, desires, and what makes you feel emotionally and physically connected to yourself and others.

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• Repairing Relational Damage:

If you're in a relationship, I can work with both you and your partner to rebuild trust and intimacy. This can involve addressing your partner's feelings of betrayal, helping the two of you navigate a new dynamic of sober intimacy, and fostering a deeper emotional bond.

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